Phase two of our California Camping adventure continued with a visit to LegoLand. 

With The Camping Machine safely ensconced in spot 80 of the Mission Bay RV Park, we headed to the theme park built solely to sell billions of tiny colored plastic building blocks.

Before my lovely wife booked this week-long southern California adventure I had no idea there was such a thing as LegoLand. Disneyland, sure.  LegoLand?  Is this a joke?

 
Apparently not.  

I remember building with Lego blocks as a kid.  You could make walls with them.  Red walls, yellow walls, blue walls, white walls.  That was about it.  Oh, sure, there were some specialty parts, but basically what I did with my Lego's was to build little walls for my small green plastic army men to hide behind, so I could shoot at them with rubber bands.  The idea there might be a whole Theme Park built around Lego's was as foreign an idea to me as, well, putting a man on the moon.

Oh, wait.  They did that in 1969, right when I was playing with my Lego's.

As we walked in I had no idea what to expect.  It didn’t take long to figure out what was what.  The entire place is predicated on creating an environment conducive to selling Lego toy sets. 

And let me tell you, if you thought Lego’s were just those square blue and red bricks with four, six or eight little bumps on top, you are so 1960’s.  Just like I was.  Um, actually, just like I still am.

Today you can build almost anything out of Lego's.  For example, you can build a Salty Old Sea Captain, complete with spyglass.  And when you have your kid stand next to him, why it's almost impossible to tell which is the real person and which is the guy made out of Lego's.  In fact, I almost bought the Sea Capitan some Cotton Candy before I realized I left my son back at the pedestal. Of course, the person who built this has a few more pieces in his set than you or I do, um, did back when we were building with Lego's.

The more time I spent in LegoLand, the more I wished it was time to go home.  OW!  Just kidding, dear.  No, really, I'm having a great time.  What I meant to say was the more time I spent in LegoLand the more I realized just how much skill and talent the fine LegoLand craftsmen and craftswomen must have to build these fabulous creations.

Why, take this example of Fine Art.  Here is a realistic sculpture of a Great White Shark eating my son whole.  When I first saw this shark I thought I was back at Sea World - then I realized I was just having a savage flashback, due in large part to the drugs I was taking to get me through this week's ordeal of seeing how many southern California theme parks we could visit in a week.  Once my flashback was over, it was clear that my son had finally pushed his mother too far and she fed him to the monsters of the deep for not eating his vegetables at dinner the night before.  I believe her exact words were, "Either you eat your vegetables, young man, or I'll find something that will eat you."  It seemed perfectly reasonable at the time.  I'll bet my son will eat his vegetables tonight.

 

You might think that given the right amount of specially shaped Lego's, you could build a shark big enough to swallow you whole. Actually, let me rephrase that.  There is no way you, I or any other normal person could build a shark big enough to swallow you whole completely out of Lego's. You have to be some sort of Lego Savant to do this.  I may be a Savant, but it's more the Idiot type.  How else do you explain me agreeing to this adventure?

I read in the news recently that SpongeBob SquarePants is now 10 Years old and worth several Billion dollars.  Do you think Lego is going to let that go by without creating a whole set of SpongeBob Lego's?  No way

.
For the record, my kids love SpongeBob.  What's not to like? I guess I would prefer he remain a cartoon character and not have to become a LEGO  toy.  On the ohter hand, if I had invented SpongeBob, you'd better believe I would license his likeness to anything and everything I possibly could. In addition to SpongeBob, there are all kinds of Star Wars Lego Sets, Lego Indiana Jones sets, Lego Space Police and Lego Bionicle play sets, among many others.

.
.But LegoLand wouldn’t be able to draw kids in sufficient numbers to buy the toy sets if there weren’t theme park rides to be ridden.  No, the roller coaster is not made out of Lego blocks – something tells me that wouldn’t work out to well. 

 

So of course there are rides scattered about so the kids can go from one Lego-themed display to another, and along the way hop on a roller coaster, drive a car, or ride a horse like a medieval knight.

But that maks me sound cynical and jaded, which of course I am not in the least bit.  Really.  

When it’s all said and done, thought, Lego-Land is a good time if you are a kid.  After all, that's the reason we are here in the first place.  At least LegoLand makes no apologies for being so commercail.  If you were to come here and expect anything less than a full-on sales blitz to sell Lego sets, you've have to be on better drugs than I was when we were there.  I work in Advertising, so to me this was simply a well executed campaign.  And from my professional perspective, it is executed very well.  It's all about the Lego blocks, Moms and Dads, and the sooner you understand that the better off you will be.  Don't fight it, give in to the urge.  Buy some blocks and watch your kids have a good time.

And yes, we succumbed to the incessant beseeching of our two boys and bought them Lego sets to take home. So I am drinking the same Kool-Aid I am exhorting you to take.  Repeat after me - LegoLand is Fun.  LegoLand is fun.  LegoLand is fun.....

Recently we took The Camping Machine on our longest excursion to date – all the way to San Diego, California.  A week-long tour of local San Diego attractions awaited us – Sea World, Lego Land and the San Diego Zoo.

If you are an adult, married and have children, at some point in your life you will feel compelled to pack up the kids and drag them off on a trip like this.  I don’t know exactly what causes this to happen – perhaps it’s hormonally driven, perhaps it’s peer pressure – but regardless of the cause, the fact remains you feel as though you will be a failure as a parent if you deny your children the opportunity to spend all of your money on rides, stuffed animals and cotton candy at Destination Attractions in a city far from your own.

So we succumbed.  I pasted a giant smile on my face, vowed to leave it in place as long as possible, and headed out for the Children’s Fulfillment Trip.  I applied for 16 new credit cards and planned to max out every one of them.

First stop – Sea World in San Diego.

I’ve actually been to Sea World before.  Years ago, in my days as a TV News Cameraman, I covered a sports story in San Diego and as part of the story we spent some time in the park.  It was so long ago that I really didn’t remember much of the time I spent there or what there was to see, other than Shamu.

So it was basically as new to me as it was to my wife and lovely, precious children as we stood in front of the entrance and took the obligatory photo that proved we were really here.  Why is this important?  Because my kids are young enough that the likelihood of them actually remembering any of this trip when they are older is somewhere between slim and none, so I’ll need the photo to prove I really did take them there when they complain that we never did anything fun as a family.

Sorry.  I guess I put a bit too much cynicism in my morning coffee.

Sea World really does provide an exceptional opportunity to see, learn about, and in many cases touch, many forms of sea life that people like me who live in land-locked states in flyover country would never get to see in real life.  The habitats in which the animals live are all large, well kept, very clean and provide excellent viewing areas.  Of course, I’m sure it helps to go on a weekday when the crowds of families just like ours are not as oppressive as they likely are on weekends.

If you are like me (and I hope, for your sake, you’re not) you probably equate Sea World with Shamu.  But there really is so much more to Sea World than Shamu, and I’d be doing you a disservice if I jumped right to Shamu in this post.  You’d have no reason to read anything further.  No, I’m going to build up to that, so to get the Big Payoff you’ll have to read about the other parts of Sea World, and maybe you’ll learn something interesting along the way.  I will tell you though, Shamu is the star of this party, no question about it.

I applied that same logic to my kids, and rather than head straight for Shamu Stadium, I made them wait and see the other attractions first, so the day would build up to something and not be a complete letdown after the first hour.

Next to Shamu, the dolphins are probably the best known attraction at Sea World, so we decided to start off with a visit to Dolphin Stadium.  As disappointed as I was not to see football, the dolphins are pretty cool.  They swim, they jump, they splash the crowd.  It was amazing to me that people will actually try to be the first ones into the stadium just so they can get splashed by the dolphins.

Once you exit the stadium you’re dumped out into a gift shop that sells, you guessed it, stuffed dolphins.

Let’s face it, stingrays look cool.  How can you watch a stingray glide by and not think that if you had to be a sea animal instead of a person, you’d want to be the stingray? 

Has there ever been a car called Tuna?  Blowfish?  No.  At Sea World, you can actually pet the stingrays.  They even feel cool.

And, as luck would have it, you can buy a stuffed stingray as well.  Ironically they almost feel the same as the real ones.

Polar bears – now that is something to see.  For those of us who’ve seem black bears and grizzly bears in Yellowstone, seeing a white bear is a treat.  Seeing two is even better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Getting your photo taken with a guy in a polar bear costume, well that’s just icing (pun alert – icing – ice – polar bears.  Are you chuckling yet?) on the cake.  And wouldn’t you know it, he’s standing right out in front of the gift shop that sells – yes, you guessed it – stuffed polar bears!

They also have a show at Sea World that features humans – can you believe it? 

The brilliant marketers at Sea World have figured out how to get humans to perform in the water just like the mammals that happen to have fins.  It’s called Cirque de la Mer.  So of course we had to see that too.And if you CLICK HERE you can see some of it too.

I’m not sure which was more entertaining – both aquatic and human mammal shows feature lots of jumping and diving.  And when the show is over you can get your photo taken with the performers – if you really want to, that is.

With all that first class entertainment going on, it’s hard to imagine that my kids were asking if they could go on a ride.  A RIDE?  What do you think this is, an amusement park?  We’re here to LEARN!  You are supposed to be soaking up science here, watching highly intelligent mammals…umm…do tricks, like…umm…circus animals.  And that includes the dolphins and killer whales.

Sure, let’s go find a ride.

And there is one, which as you might expect at a place called Sea World, features water.  And it’s all themed up as you would expect, and named appropriately – Journey to Atlantis  Click here to watch.  With a 45 minute wait under our belt, we strapped in to the front row for the privilege of 45 seconds of fun, including a couple of steep drops and a free shower.  I snuck my little camera on board and shot a quick video that almost makes you feel like you were there.  Or not.

But Sea World is really Shamu’s show, and it is interesting to see what a Giant Killer Whale can do when it wants to (or is properly motivated).  

Who knew a Killer Whale would let a person stand on its nose? 

Who would have guessed a human can actually ‘surf’ a killer whale?

It was a long day at Sea World, but it was so fascinating (and there were still so many things to buy!) that we couldn’t get everything done that we wanted to.  Fortunately, the tickets my wife purchased were some kind of promotional offer, where if you purchased your tickets in advance you could get a second day free.  And there was still one thing that we didn’t do the first day that we would now have the opportunity to do on the second – and that was to have an intimate dinner with the Rock Star of San Diego – Shamu Him(her?)self.

It turns out that Sea World built the Killer Whale stadium/pool complex with a restaurant integrated into the facility.  The dining area runs along the, well, what would you call it?  Holding Pool?  Training Pool?  It’s the pool where Shamu hangs out when not performing.  Although with about 100 people having dinner right next to the pool, in essence Shamu is ‘performing’, since everyone is watching him/her swim around.

We booked dinner for 6:30 that evening.  The food is actually quite good, a mixture between adult and kid fare.  And you can sit there, dining on beef sirloin tips or chicken strips and watch as a giant killer whale cruises just off your starboard bow, or placemat.  Occasionally you might get splashed, but it’s a far more intimate splash than those who sit in the stadium get.

And when they say it's Dinner With Shamu, they arent kidding.  You are eating, and so is Shamu.  RIght next to you.

After dinner is the grand finale – the evening show, under the lights.  The name of the show is Shamu Rocks.  It was a very impressive show.  Because it was so dark the photos didn’t really work out, but I did videotape some of it, so take a look at this Video:

Now here is the deal with Shamu.  You may have guessed it by now.  There is more than one Shamu.  Yes, boys and girls, there is only one Santa Clause, but there are many Shamu’s.  In fact, at Sea World San Diego, there are seven.  The Shamu we had dinner with is named Ulysses.  I asked the dinner host about this.  He told me the very first trained killer whale was names Shamu (no, NOT Willy!) and that Shamu passed away about 10 years ago.  Subsequent killer whales have been given different names, but they all carry the Shamu name as a surname, if you will.

So when you go to Sea World, say hello to all the Shamu’s you see.  It’s a proud lineage.

And keep a tight grip on your wallet!